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"Tell him you're charging him rent for the time his child was in your uterus."

"I really don't want to pay for your vacation, sorry."

"Y2K items but not the prices."

"The coolest, bluest artificial light we have."

"Mentally, I'm very content."

"You mean our room attendant isn't really talented?"

Have you seen the "shoulder pals" in person yet?

"It's getting to the point where I can't even afford to buy a live-in a house that I bought almost 15 years ago."

"Girl, me too."

"Beer is really the only cold beverage that's completely unacceptable to serve over ice."