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"this man is sick of y'all disrespecting his wife."

"Ben always being game to participate in this 'fight' is hilarious."

"[He's like,] 'My friends get $100, but if they lose it, then that's it.' I'm like, 'Oh, that's a real standard, what discipline!'"

"Shooting would have helped me obtain my health insurance through the union."

"My sister was sitting at another table, and she saw my chair just completely fall back."

"For anyone who's never been in a Facebook mommy group beforethis is it."

Matching the carpet color, that's bold ...

"There was a lot of harsh stuff in the press."

What a confusing saga.

Justin Bieber once seemingly failed to notice that his search history -- which featured his ex, Selena Gomez -- was visible in an Instagram photo. He was married to Hailey Bieber at the time.