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People enjoy the 'feeling of fullness'.

Have you dated The Bastard?

I met him at his hotel where he had a surprise for me.

'I feel torn between my desire for her and the love I feel for my wife.'

The second day, the pain in my legs was so excruciating that I could barely get out of my bed.

Before you throw the 69 - or any other sex act - out the window, hear me out.

'We were all naked when the door burst open.'

There was also strawberry sauce involved ...

'We used to romp like rabbits.'

And the award for most sex goes to ...