High-profile politician departs parliament to become mayor of one of Britain's great cities; achieves cult status; rides back to parliament on a wave of popularity and, eventually, becomes prime minister. That's how Boris Johnson's story goes, but .. ...
I can't think of anything more calculated to arouse the fury of a free-born, red-blooded Englishman than the sight of our beloved Helen Mirren, 80, being subjected to hate-filled abuse.
Uh oh, I didn't like the look of this one. I had one of those eye infections that just wouldn't go away and, as my eye started to swell and I looked ever more piratical, I worried: what if it's a superbug?